Guitars, Coffee & Life From Napa
Today I was looking through some old pictures and came across one of my sister and me on the ferry back from San Francisco. At the moment that picture was taken, there wasn’t anything happening that swung my emotion drastically enough in any direction to make a mark on the album of my life. 15 minutes later though was a different story and seeing this picture took me right back to that moment, the feelings I was having and what it meant… to me.
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Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger—if we didn’t feel it, we couldn’t protect ourselves from legitimate threats. But more often than not, fear arises from situations that are far from life-or-death. We fear looking bad, failing, being rejected, or we perceive ourselves as inadequate and thus hang back for no good reason.
It’s safe to say that we are our own worst critics. We all have that little voice in our head that wants to tell us we might fail, let others down and look foolish, always wanting to inject a bit of fear so we stay safe and within our comfort zone.
Here’s the thing: nothing extraordinary ever happens in our safe comfort zone. Tweet That
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The other day a friend sent me an infographic depicting the creative process. The graphic showed that the time spent on the creative process could be sliced five ways: 5% inspiration, 5% work, 30% binge eating, 30% discouraged napping and 30% random internet surfing. Although this graphic was created in jest, it doesn’t stray far from reality if my attention is left unmanaged.
I remember attending a conference during which one of the speakers said, “The difference between people that achieve their goals and the ones that don’t is the way they think and the way they spend their spare time.” There is certainly truth in that statement and it obviously resonated with me because I still remember it. Now, however, I would amend that statement to say “where they focus their attention” rather than “the way they spend their spare time.”
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Though ego is a strong temptress, people with humility are the ones we want to follow.
Unfortunately, American culture and academia do little to prepare us for a humble approach to leadership. On the contrary, people are encouraged to be aggressive, distinguish themselves and stand apart—things that read more like a list of antonyms for “humble.”
I’ve been in leadership roles since I was a teenager. I’ve studied and pontificated leadership in countless retreats and classes, and read more books on the subject than I can count. Yet only after enduring some rather horrific failures did I learn true humility… and leadership requires more humility than I ever imagined.
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I’m pretty sure I don’t hold the record for bad decision making but I’ve made enough, and caused enough damage with them that I had to take notice and try to understand what leads to up that moment… the bad decision.
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Now that everyone is polarized on his or her view of this article, it’s already time for an apology – in the first paragraph. This isn’t an article written by a man about women leaders, rather an article written by a man about effective leaders, men and women, and the traits that make them that way. So, if you were hoping for a good gender debate, sorry.
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I’m on the board of directors for Leadership Napa Valley and recently volunteered to write a short monthly article on leadership for the local paper. As I began to write I realized there was a bit more to say than the space in the paper allowed for, so I thought I would expand on the topic here.
This time of year, individuals and organizations commonly take stock of the prior year and plan for the year to come. I am no different. One thing I’ve noted is my need to get out of the trenches, or out from in front of my computer, and spend more time inspiring others.
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The other day I wrote what I thought would be my last post of 2013, with the seasonally appropriate topic of accomplishing your New Year’s resolutions. However, as I work through the last few things I need to accomplish this year I can’t help but think about next year and what I might want to do differently and thought I would put keyboard to screen (pen to paper) for one last 2013 entry, besides I had this great image I wanted to use.
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This time of year is steeped in holiday traditions and one of the most famous — or infamous — is the New Year’s Resolution. It’s estimated that around 45% of Americans partake in the tradition of setting resolutions, which is about the same number of us that watch the Super Bowl.
The list of the most popular resolutions is fairly short and if guessing them was the entrance exam to Harvard, we would all have a really good chance of getting in: loose weight, get organized, save money, etc…
Interestingly though, folks that study our behaviors and publish papers about it suggest that only around 8% of us will actually have success with our resolutions.
It’s nearly impossible to make it through a day in December without hearing that this is — or should be — the most wonderful time of the year. I wonder though, how many people we pass on a daily basis that think it’s the most difficult and lonely… maybe we even feel that way.
The holiday season often brings unwelcome guests — stress and depression. And it’s no wonder. The holidays present a dizzying array of demands — parties, shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining, to name just a few. Add to those the possible recent loss of a loved one, or the sheer feeling of inadequacy many experience this time of year, and it’s no wonder this perhaps isn’t the most wonderful time of year for many people we cross paths with on a daily basis.
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